Say hello to my most recent victim. Please, I beg of you, if you are looking to get me a gift, do not make it a live plant. I cannot handle the responsibility. I have had a long-standing record of serial-killing my plants, and would have my face on a most wanted list for plant murder if that was a real thing.
I am nervous to get a dog, because I clearly shouldn't be counted on to feed things. I may have seen the writing on the wall when I kept having to restart my Tamagotchi virtual pet keychain due to neglect and my underfed virtual creature. People have reminded me that at least a dog reminds you to feed it every day, so that is comforting.
Can't win 'em all. Rest in peace, little guy.