Self, you should be paying attention to this wise advice.

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I originally saw this picture listing a "Note to Self" a while ago, but it has been weirdly more sound advice since I am growing a person inside me.  I mean, if there are all these rules like I shouldn't eat fish with mercury or pesticides, or I should get enough sleep, or I should wear a seat belt, then I suppose there is some truth that I should treat myself well regardless if there is a little person growing inside of me.  These things seem to be advice that everyone knows, but no one does for themselves.  Honestly, when did we get so bad at taking care of ourselves?

It seems like we only remember these simple ways to take care of ourselves after we learned the life lesson somehow, like relearning a healthy relationship with food after an eating disorder, making a baby, or surviving a close call with your health.  How sad that we can't make better decisions to take great care of ourselves, right?

(Sigh) I wish it were that easy.  Don't get me wrong, I just ate a lot of Pringles chips today, so I haven't mastered the art of self care.  At the very least I hope to make plenty of right decisions throughout the day like get plenty of sleep, or drink organic tea (rishi tested without chemicals).  Next stop, the gym.

Hopefully I can remember to take of myself once I am worried about taking care of some other little peanut.  I don't want to wait until another life event serves as a reminder to avoid eating hot dogs.  Even if we all do only one of these nice things for ourselves, that is a step in the right direction.  I have the naps down, but will focus on not saying mean things to myself as my pants stop fitting.  Which one are you going to work on?  Take care, my loves - I would like us to be friends a while longer.

Sorry I have been gone, I have been busy growing a person.

Photo courtesy of Kate Kroes Photography

For those of you who read regularly, I apologize for my absence over the last few months.  I wish I could say that I was busy solving world hunger or something, but the true story is that I have been working on some new stuff.  And the secret is out... that new stuff is growing a baby.  I won't post all of the time about baby things, I promise, but I do feel I should (A) explain myself and (B) do the first trimester it's due justice.

My husband and I were lucky in that we didn't have to try or wait very long to change from a family of 2 to a family of 2.5 once we decided to do so.  I know that not everyone has an easy time, and I am forever grateful that we didn't have to walk that line.  All in all, I have been lucky along the way in that I could have been really sick or had other complications.

With that gratitude acknowledged, I have to pay my respects to all of my ladies who have come before me and endured the silent suffering that is the first trimester.  Since we weren't going to be telling anyone yet, there was the solid month and a half where I felt pretty terrible and had to not look like it.  The hubs was the best, and he was nothing but supportive about the fact that I made the couch work overtime instead of hanging out with him while staying awake.  But seriously, (and I cannot explain this to men or women who have not been pregnant) I did not know tired like this.  I once did a few "long blinks" at my desk at work, and decided it was time to go for a walk before I straight up fell asleep at my desk.

I did not fully understand or appreciate all of the changes that come in the first trimester like feeling sick or tired, and I have total respect now for all of the ladies who have managed it, frequently without others knowing.  Or course, there are people around you all of the time that are pushers trying to get you to break the news on their terms.  Some stories from my friends and me include quotes like, "Why aren't you drinking, are you pregnant?" or "You HAVE to try this barbecue, it is the best around!" or "When are you guys going to start having kids?"  The answers are (1) Yes, but I refuse to tell you before my mom, (2) No I don't have to eat that barbecue because the smell of it makes me want to hurl, and (3) What if I had been trying for 3 years and you really hurt my feelings by asking A.K.A. none of your damn business.

Seeing as I felt nauseous most of the time for weeks, I resorted to lots of snacks.  Since people didn't know the secret, I have eaten many a granola bar in the bathroom because my incessant snacking was suspect.  Those of you who know me may be aware that I always have fantastic snacks with me anyways, so now by bag of snacks are really taken to the next level.  I am lucky that we solved that mouse problem a few months back, otherwise this would not be working out.

Now that I can stay awake longer than 14 hours in the day and feeling better, I am back in action.  I am so lucky to have lots of terrific friends who are moms before me to give me quality, real advice, pass on what they know, tell me not to register for that, and take great pictures of the journey (thanks, Kate Kroes!).  I am surrounded by love.

For the time being, here are the FAQs:

1. Yes, I do look like I have been eating a lot of pizza.  No I don't need an intervention, but thank you for the concern.  There is a baby in there.  A baby that likes specifically Palermo's sausage pizza.
2. We are not finding out if it a boy or girl.  Well, eventually we will in, say, October.  Adventure parenting.
3. Yes, October 3rd to be exact.  Hopefully I don't have a real overachiever in there who comes out too early to ensure I go back to work just before Christmas instead of waiting until the end of the year.
4. I have not read "What to Expect When You're Expecting."  I have heard the alternate title of that book is "101 Ways You Are Killing Your Baby by Eating and Breathing," so I think I am good without it.
5. Cravings? Yes.  They are very specific and generally good for one meal only.  And extremely difficult to predict.

New Year = The end of bad choices. For at least a week and a half.

Via Metapicture

Confession: December beat me at its own game. Between the holidays and moving to a new home, I did not go to the gym while simultaneously subscribing to the carbohydrate diet.  When I went to the gym for the first time in weeks a few days ago, I was reminded about what a difference four weeks makes.  I. Am. Sore.

So now I am in the midst of fighting the good fight on eating well, going to the gym, and overall being the best version of myself.  I am losing the fight on the first two, so my only hope left is finding some actually meaningful things to try and stick to.  Since I ate a doughnut today, any hopes of a low-fat, low sodium, gluten-free, low carb, clean, paleo, flavor-free, or 100% healthy diet are slowly slipping into the night.

That is okay, because instead, I think my promises to myself in 2014 might be more effective than the usual diet and exercise resolution.  Here are the New Year goals I have set for myself:

1. Remove the word "busy": I am making an effort to remove the word busy from my vocabulary and glorifying it as if it was an accomplishment.  This is particularly difficult when I have co-workers who value busy.  Just the same, I make my decisions on my schedule, so I will not add to the glorification of "busy" with my own comments.
2. Buy less things unless I need them: I will still buy things from time to time that are not essentials, but I will think long and hard about whether it will really bring me that much satisfaction.  For example, I have stopped buying sweaters that are cute from an inexpensive retailer, only to be disappointed when they shrink in the wash anyways.  I will buy a better sweater instead of two crappy ones.
3. Meet new people: I made a few really great new friends in 2013.  I think that is a worthy goal to continue.  Whether it is connecting back with people I once knew, networking professionally, or meeting more friends of friends, this is a worthy investment.  Warning, I am becoming more socially awkward with age, so please expect that when you introduce me to your friends.

And if I stop eating baked goods, that is fine too.  But I find that to be unlikely since I live closer than ever to my favorite local bakery. And I work for a food company.  And I love baked goods.  Yeah.

Cheer others to cheer yourself.

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I made a discovery today.  On the days that I don't happen to do anything meaningful to help someone else, I don't feel like I really accomplished anything.  On the days that I feel I have actually impacted someone's day to be more positive, I feel as if I spent my time well.

While I know that this doesn't work for everyone, I have found it is the most important part of my day.  I am still an introvert and prefer sometimes to be alone, but that makes it all the more important to have valuable one-on-one time to make an impact for others.  And part of this is simply selfish in that I can't handle being surrounded by crabby or negative people so I do my best to either improve their attitude, or not be near them.

So, if I want to say that I had a good day by the time night comes, I better seek out people to cheer up. That is how I cheer up too.

I'm Not a Cheerleader, I'm a Mascot.

Via photos.uc.wisc.edu 

Someone at work recently told me that some ladies were discussing me and they commented that I must have been a cheerleader previously. I understand why they would think that on account of my incessant smiling and ongoing effort to raise the energy in the room.  However, this is not an accurate assumption.  No disrespect to any current or former cheerleaders, but it just has never been my thing personally.  I would, however, give my right arm to be a mascot.

Mascots are hilarious and fascinating, and basically one-person theater shows.  Mascots even go to mascot camp to learn how to walk, cry, fight, and basically be awesome.  Check out this clip from Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel:

Video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKlbjMPXKdA

 

I have been in love with mascots for years.  Milwaukee Brewers sausage races, mascot soccer games, or watching Bucky beat up the visiting team mascot has been a way of life.  I would be most happy to cheer on the team (not unlike a cheerleader) but do that in between expressing my emotions mascot-style rather than in between some high kicks.

 

Mascots bring such joy, don't they?  Here is a fun Big 10 mascot video to make your day:

Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxhIhHv8oIM

 

So please, don't consider me a cheerleader... I am a mascot at heart.  On Wisconsin!

 







It's Friday - Are you feeling fried?

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Ahh, T.G.I.F., right?  I know that some weeks the life is sucked out of us by the end of the week (we refer to this as "Friday Tired") and we just need a day off of work.  I ran across some nice advice to share with all of you to try and keep the happy going all week long at work.  If you are feeling like work is taking out more than it is putting in, these are a few wise reminders.

What the Happiest People do at Work - Huffington Post
A few of my favorite topics that this article covers includes these:

• Perspective: Two different perspectives on the same thing make all the difference.  Glass-half-full anyone?  Try and find the rainbows.
• Decorate:  Personalize your office, cubicle, whatever.  I expand this into my wardrobe of course, in a manner that makes that black leather pencil skirt look oddly appropriate for a relatively conservative corporate culture.
• Decision-Making: I make decisions all day long at work, so I prefer not to outside of work.  Where do I want to eat dinner tonight you ask?  Don't care, just drive somewhere tasty.

10 Steps to Happiness at Work - Forbes

• Be Super Resilient: Positive perspective comes in here as well.  However, easier said than done?
• Conflict: There are a lot of steps listed here related to conflict with others.   I am learning more and more that most people are really bad at handling conflict, so practice your skills here.
• Mindfulness Over Multi-Tasking: Doing a lot of things poorly never gave anyone happiness about their career or a feeling of success.  I have to stop myself frequently.

6 Ways to be Happier at Work - Huffington Post

• Assuming Malice Instead of a Mistake: Why do people assume that when something goes wrong, that the person responsible must have been plotting the disaster the night before?  Trust is a better starting point.
• Give Thank-You's: Thank your co-workers, they will love it and you will feel happier having delivered a warm fuzzy.

If all else fails, keep a cute-looking puppy in your drawer, and maybe some chocolate.  But not the same drawer, because dogs shouldn't eat chocolate.

I was at a funeral! and other ways we could have messed the whole thing up...

Photo by J. Kaminski Photography

It seems very unlikely that my husband and I ever got married.  We went all through elementary to high school together, swimming on the swim team together, and basically leading separate lives side by side.  I wouldn't say that we were friends.  When we reconnected nine years after high school, I was like, "Oh yeah, that guy."

Most of our stories are quintessentially "us."  One of my favorites is the first time he asked me out on a date.  We had been texting over the course of an hour or so and, full disclosure, I may have been committed enough to the conversation to text at every stoplight.  The boy sees his opportunity and asks me out on a date.  And then, without notice, I stopped responding.  Naturally, the boy freaked out.

Based on some good advice from a friend to "Don't. Do. Anything.," the boy didn't send me any snarky comments to ruin all of his progress.  The truth is that I was at a funeral, and I turned my phone off out of respect.  When I turned my phone back on a few hours later I saw his message and thought, "Oh nooooooo, he's going to think I don't want to go out with him!"  We smoothed that over and had a very nice first date that ended with me being VERY tired for work the next morning because I didn't want to end the conversation.

The hubs claims that I almost ruined our second date, but I think it was his fault.  We discussed going out and he asked if we should invite or hang out with other people.  I thought, "OMG, is this not a date?"  I was not sure why he would want to invite others, so I panicked.  "The more the merrier!" I responded.  And he was like, um, okay...  Luckily, the date was not a group hangout, although he claims I almost ruined it with my apparent nonchalant-ness.  I say it was his fault for ever bringing it up.

Somehow we made it in spite of ourselves.  We still joke that we can't believe we married each other when we think back to our frienemy years, but it looks like the joke is on us.

The Most Interesting Woman Award

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Meet the most interesting woman.  This is Iris Apfel, and she is my hero.  I first came across a picture of her by chance, and I thought, whoever that crazy old bat is, I love her.  When I found a second picture of her, I determined that she wasn't just a random lady and I needed to learn more.

Iris Apfel was born in Queens, New York, and studied art at NYU and the University of Wisconsin (woot!) before spending a life long career in interior design, fashion, and living life as a style icon.  There are three things that I like most about Ms. Apfel which lend to a good life lesson:

1. Her best accessory is confidence.  She clearly appears confident and comfortable in her own skin, and it is so very refreshing.  Every photo of her shows joy and personality that is all her own.
2. Style trumps fashion.  Fashion is based on labels and lines of clothing that designers make up.  Style is something personal and an expression of personality and originality.  Ms. Apfel has more style than the City of New York.
3. Bold is better.  Bright colors, mixed prints, five stacked bracelets and a monkey statue in your apartment is clearly the way to go.

I hope that as I age, I can fall into even half of her personal style, because it says so much about her.  She clearly is a lady with worldly experiences and fabulous stories to tell.  I can't wait to be a brightly colored, mixed prints biddy wearing my body weight in jewelry and living surrounded by a stylish collection of conversation pieces.  It's good to have goals.

Read more:
Iris Apfel's Apartment Proves That More is Really More
Iris Apfel - Wikipedia

Don't you "Bah Humbug" me, not at Christmas.

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Ohhhh, it's here. Yes, I already checked to see if the XM radio station changed from "Love" to "Holly" playing holiday tunes.  And the red cups are out at Starbucks, so I know I am not the only one who feels this way.

I have been conditioned by working in retail to understand that the Christmas season begins on November 1st.  I do in fact celebrate five seasons throughout the year and the fifth one is me considering Christmas a season, not a holiday.  Hopefully this year I can make it past December 15th before I am sick of it, and I have a sporting chance at this seeing as I won't be getting attacked over iPads this year.

This is not a new phenomenon for me.  For a while as a child, I claimed my future career path would be in "Christmas interior design," or simply put, getting paid to decorate for Christmas.  I learned life skills from my dad (a civil engineer and dare I say, meticulous) about how to properly string lights on a Christmas tree.  I don't know if we ever had a tree that managed to have less than 1,000 lights on it.

The hubs and I have to compromise early on to decide a date that I can start decorating.  He doesn't usually agree to November 1st, and am quite certain that Thanksgiving is too late.  I have already dusted off some indie-rock holiday tunes and the likes of the Rat Pack.

Let the package deliveries BEGIN!

Try not to compare yourself to people on the internet.

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That is the funny thing about Facebook, and the internet, and magazines, and television; you only see the cover page.  Admit it, we have all done it.  We have trolled through Facebook pages of old classmates, exes' new partners, people we work with, and looked all over the media to follow celebrities.  Honestly, this is the only explanation for the fact that the Kardashians are famous.  Comparison and awe of others.

The problem with media sources is that they only show you the best pictures (um, usually), the best angle, how you have a lot of friends, and how you are successful in your job.  Celebrities and models have makeup artists, stylists, airbrushing, and they haven't eaten carbohydrates since 1999.  It is not a fair comparison.  And we can all agree that comparing apples and oranges doesn't usually add up, right?

I have always believed that the universe evens out the score across people.  For example, a beautiful person might be a really terrible dancer, or a very intelligent person might not have any social skills.  Some of those things we can see and some things we cannot see.

So if this theory is true, it would be wildly unfair for you to compare yourself to just the pictures and accomplishments, right?  Don't worry yourself with someone who lost weight and got hot, who finished more schooling, or who is having kids when you are not.  If we focus on being the best version of ourselves and not the best version of somebody else, we will certainly feel more successful.  Plus, that person that you are comparing yourself to based on their career growth might have a whole other element to their life that you don't see, and more importantly, don't want.

The bottom line is that we cannot control what others do, but we can control what we do.  Instead of comparison to others, make your litmus test based on yourself, your goals, and your life choices.  If you fall short, you control the equation.  And I am sure you would be amazed at what other people compare about themselves to your success.  Stop beating yourself up because your ass is bigger than that other girl's, because she might have ugly feet and not be able to wear sandals...ever.  Once we can stop comparison to others, we have more space for gratitude for the things that we do have in our lives.

Perspective.

Want to feel inspired? Meet Jaclyn.

Via http://friendsofjaclyn.org/

This is a picture of Jaclyn Murphy (center) and one of the many college sports teams that have signed up to participate in the Friends Of Jaclyn Foundation programs.

I first heard about this story watching "Real Sports" with Bryant Gumbel, and I wanted to share it with the world.  The foundation began after Jaclyn, a child fighting a pediatric brain tumor, needed inspiration to get through difficult cancer treatment, and her dad hooked her up with the Northwestern women's' lacrosse team after she was inspired by a picture on the hospital wall.  The team adopted her as their own and supported her year after year through cancer treatment, all while winning more than a handful of national titles.  Jaclyn told her dad about another patient that they needed to "get her a team" and that is how the organization was born.

Today there are hundreds of college sports teams around the country signed up and on the waiting list to adopt a child with a brain tumor for life.  Sometimes that isn't very long, but sometimes it is and either way, it is a lifetime commitment.  What an incredibly rewarding and worthy cause.

I feel inspired to do something for the world, don't you?  Check out their website to learn more about the Murphy family and the foundation.  Watch the Real Sports episode on HBO for a lift.

Just because we don't talk much doesn't mean we are less of friends.

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Those really are the greatest friends, aren't they?  The ones that you might not even talk to all that often, but it doesn't make you any less of friends.  They are those friends that you pick right back up with even though you haven't spoken to them for months, years even.

I remember in high school when girls would get mad at each other because all of the sudden they had a boyfriend and they didn't hang out as much any more.  I never understood that, because isn't that how life goes?  The girl who was mad that their friend for ditching them for a boy might be the same girl who got married and fell off the face of the earth because she was trying to figure out what to do with her new baby.

The key is, that just because we are all busy, it doesn't stop me from loving you as a friend, missing you as a partner in crime, or respecting you as a person.  I have such an appreciation for my friends that don't dock me friendship points due to the fact that I am bad at keeping in touch, live in a different city, or worked strange hours.  You are still in my head and my heart.  I think of one friend in particular who I know that we never lose ground as friends, even if it has been six month since we have contacted each other.  I have so much thanks to give for that. (Thanks, Lindsey, you warm my heart.)

To keep with the spirit of friendship, I encourage you to reach out to two old friends that you haven't contacted for far too long.  Facebook and social media makes this easy, so no excuses.  I am sure you will enjoy it, and it will be a pleasant surprise to the recipient.  Thanks for understanding that I am a rotten pen pal.

If cheese is wrong, I don't want to be right. (A public service announcement)

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I don't think I feel this way just because I am from Wisconsin (that would be so cliché).  I think I feel this way because cheese is made with magic.  I work for a grocery company, and today I spent time discussing delicious cheeses and just how much gouda one can sell in a weekend.  This must be how my friend Rick, a cheese sales guy, feels.  Elated to be surrounded by cheese.

Here are a few things you maybe didn't know about cheese, that you should.  You're welcome:

New Juusto cheese with Nueske's bacon:  Best served warm, with crumbles of the best bacon ever.  I discovered this today, and feel more whole as a human being as a result.

Raclette: This is a type of cheese, and an actual dish made with melted cheese and a raclette grill.  I have one, but need more friends besides myself to fire up a cheesy grill.  This would be the equivalent of me eating a whole pot of fondue by myself.  Totally possible, but my stomach would surely revolt.

Mac and Cheese secrets:  For a good macaroni and cheese recipe, you'll need a good béchamel sauce, breadcrumbs, and don't overcook the noodles.  Also, mustard is a secret delish ingredient.

Don't try these all at once, unless you want to risk your intestines imploding.  I am starting to wonder if I am lactose intolerant as I type this...

Why I love weddings, and all of the details you should remember to pay attention to...

Over the years, weddings have become one of my favorite activities.  I think they hold so many amazing treasures that can go unnoticed if you are too busy being worried about the gift, who is going to be there, or how soon the bar opens.  I always enjoy a wedding, but I really revel in one that is well done.  I would be a wedding crasher if it was more socially acceptable and I had free time.  And don't get me wrong, I have crashed a wedding.  It is just a time consuming hobby.

Here are my favorite ways to enjoy a wedding, so you can find the treasures too.

The invitation: I know that common logic says it is something made out of paper that people throw away, but the invitation is one of my favorite parts of a wedding.  It tells you so much about the event, such as what color dress NOT to wear, how fancy the event might be, and the personality of the décor.  I like to see how accurately I can dream up the wedding in my head, and see how close I was when I get there.

The venue:  I know it doesn't always work out this way, but I love venues that are so characteristic of the couple that you know that they were meant to be in that space.  I would have every party I ever hosted where we had our wedding (Cuvee Champagne Lounge and Iron Horse Hotel) for the rest of our lives if I could.  I just saw a wedding photo of a friend at the Milwaukee Historical Society, and I thought that was the most perfectly matched wedding venue for that couple ever.  Magic.

The look:  Everyone always looks back at the bride when she first comes out, but try and refrain.  You have plenty of time to see what she looks like all night, but you only get one shot to watch the groom's face and see the look on his face when he sees the bride for the first time.  It is usually a mix of trying-not-to-puke, relief she showed up, approval that his almost-wife looks hot, and pure happiness that he has a best friend to stand with him at the front.

The ring: At the reception, my favorite thing to watch is the groom while he fiddles constantly with this strange new piece of metal on his hand.  While women do this when they first get engaged and the ring on their finger feels new and strange, this goes away by the wedding.  Grooms always walk around greeting people and having a great time, but all while toying with that ring partially as an unfamiliar thing and partially as a reminder that they should be enjoying this totally strange and wonderful day.

These are the things that I enjoy, but weddings are also a nice reminder of my own marriage and the awesome team that I get to be half of.  I was at a wedding when I told my husband, "Yep, I think I am ready to marry you now" after a very heartwarming performance on his part as the best man.  I have enjoyed watching so many of my friends exchange the "thank God we are in this together" look as they are sharing vows, while I give/get the "thank God we are in this together" hand squeeze from the hubs next to me.

My best advice to anyone getting married is to take just five minutes during your reception where it is just you and your spouse, and sneak over to the side of the room with just the two of you.  Take those five minutes to just be together, look around and take in the scene, and watch what a fun time everyone that you care about in the world is having around you.  Someone gave that advice to us at our wedding, and the moment we took was one of my favorite memories.  Eventually someone will come up to talk to you and the moment will pass, but it is a worthy memory.

My best advice to anyone attending weddings who is not married and is reading this singing "Love Stinks" like in the Wedding Singer in their head, is to enjoy the details and just watch for signs that encourage you that love exists.  Just watching my friends set a good example is encouraging.

Thanks for the memories!

#Chrisandvalslovestory

I might be the reason that USPS still can afford Saturday mail delivery.

I LOVE getting packages in the mail.  There are few things in the world better than getting really great mail!  This week, I am so very excited to get home, actually check the porch or the mail, and see what treasures abound.  I have an unhealthy connection to Etsy and Amazon to feed my illness.  So far this week I have received a book, a custom bracelet, and I am impatiently waiting for a new scarf.

 

Now, the hubs knows this about me, and he tragically likes to play a joke on me by sending packages to the house from work.  I get excited, open it up, and find only bubble wrap and an ice pack.  I am on to him now though, and I am suspect of any square-ish box of a familiar size.

 

This is the time of year that kicks off my mail obsession because the e-commerce universe knows when to start filling my mailbox with glorious catalogs to kick off the holiday shopping season.  I look forward to doing all of my holiday shopping online so that I have so many packages coming I don’t even know what is in them.   Especially if I employ my “one for you, one for me” shopping strategy.  I don't even care if they are for me, I just like boxes full of treasures.

 

I am considering recycling the bubble mailers into fake presents to send to the hubs at work.

Twitter is gibberish. Except maybe for these feeds.

Via businessinsider.com

The thing about @ signs and # tags is that when you put them in the middle of sentences, it creates an even more ridiculous language than the version we call English now.  I often hash tag out of humor at the end of something, but I refuse to do as the kids do these days in the middle of a sentence.  We all have to take a stand somewhere.  Here is mine.

As for twitter, I have decided to sift out some worthy feeds so that you don't get caught in the mumbo jumbo.

HuffPost Living (@HealthyLiving)
These are some great blog articles for personal health and well-being in every aspect.  The one downside?  They tweet... a lot.

Harvard Biz Review (@HarvardBiz)
Good for anyone looking for some good advice for the work place.

Travel Wisconsin (@TravelWI)
This is a great source for some fun WI activities and day trips, including festivals.  Fall is awesome for this, so they have the goods.

Earth Pics (@Earth_Pics)
This is my absolute favorite feed.  It is only photos, and they are of the most beautiful far off places and an occasional cute baby hippo.  I was about to cancel my Twitter account until I met Earth Pics.

Modern Seinfeld (@SeinfeldToday)
If you loved Seinfeld, you will love this.  Someone tweets short synopses of a would-be could-be episode of Seinfeld if it was on TV today.

Seth MacFarlane (@SethMacFarlane)
Not only does he say the funniest inappropriate things, he also retweets some of the funny things that he sees.  Literally, I don't need to see anyone else's funny tweets, because I know Seth MacFarlane will sniff them out for me.

God (@TheTweetofGod)
If God has a sense of humor, this would be his feed.  I am glad you have a sense of humor too.

Enjoy, and keep the mid-sentence #hashtags and to a minimum, or else you will sound like this:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57dzaMaouXA



Awkward is one of my super powers.

Via LaurenConrad.com

I can't be totally sure why, but for some reason I continue to get more awkward with age.  Perhaps it is because over the course of time I got more comfortable with who I am as a person.  A weird, silly person who likes to find joy and wear bright colors.  And the more I am myself, the less makes it through translation to the general population.  And just how did I get this way?

I think that I was lucky enough to come across a few key people in my life who told my by their friendship, their actions, or their support that it was okay to be myself, whatever that might be.  What a nice treasure to have, and most certainly one that I did not know the value of at the time.

I spent many of my younger years with a lot of those crazy theater people, and I love every one of them.  There is something special about the creative theater folk, as in that they often have a creativity and a confidence in who they are.  How wonderful to be surrounded by those crazy, interesting people.

In my twenties I had a few friends who were very comfortable in being their own weird selves, and appreciated me as my own self as well.  Eventually, I figured, I could be fine being weird too.

And so, I just decided to wear a lot of polka dots and hide rubber chickens and eat caramel apples and speak in movie quotenese.  It is okay if not everyone gets it.  Most people don't like sushi or red wine the first time they try it, but they get better with age.  Okay, well maybe that's not true for sushi.

Comfort with myself + enjoying weird things = Awkward girl
Awkward girl - my superhero name.

Don't let anyone bring you down.

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Seriously, don't.  There are people all over trying to tell you about things that they might not be experts on.  Like me for example.  I am no expert, so you can take my advice with a grain of salt.  However, I have some fun thoughts to share, and my eyebrows are at least average so I think you are in the clear.  I talk a lot about things worth doing, so here are a few things worth avoiding.

Don't let people with terrible hair cuts cut your hair.  If they are supposed to be the experts, and they have bad hair, run.  I don't mean "edgy, but you couldn't pull it off" -type hair.  That is revolutionary, and you should get a hair cut immediately.

Don't surround yourself with problem-oriented people when you need a solution.  This is such a tough force, at work in particular.  Instead of hearing all of the ways that you can't, find people who can help you find the one way that it can be done.  Thomas Edison once said, "I didn't fail. I just found 2,000 ways how not to make a light bulb; I only needed to find one way to make it work."

Don't save things that you could be using or doing today.  I remember how I used to save things, like my favorite candle.  I would never burn it, saving it for some special occasion only to find that it melted in storage anyway.  Wear the shoes you are saving, burn the candle, use the expensive hair product.  The small treasures are what make them worth having in the first place.

Don't waste your time being upset at others.  Have a friend that wasn't a friend to you?  Instead of being upset towards them, either forgive them or simply decide not to be around them.  See a stranger who is a total jerk to you?  Imagine that they must have a tough life if they have to be mean to a total stranger, and have gratitude that you don't have to live that way.

Don't stop believin'.  Journey is never wrong.

For when you don't know what makes you happy...

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I have a bit of a confession to make.  Most of 2012 was a trying year for me.  Prior to that, 2011 was one of the most successful years of my life.  I was enjoying being back in school, I got married, things were going well at work, and I even found a way to fit in a half-marathon.  And this is how I thrive the most, being just a little too busy.  Everything was great, until it wasn't.

Over the course of time in 2012, I realized that things weren't clicking for me anymore.  There was no tragic event in my life, but only a slow degradation of my perceived feeling of success.  And while I don't wish unforeseen crises on anyone, the "slow death" of my mojo was practically undetectable and just as lethal.  School was frustrating, I was missing my free time, and no matter what I tried, I could not feel successful about my work.

I had been trying a lot of different things to maintain my positude, but nothing was really did the trick.  I had lost my confidence and needed to get it back.  So I had to bring out the big guns. Here's how I did it, and I hope you can get your mojo back.

• Think positive thoughts: I am sorry that I am offering such mundane and cheesy advice here, but you have to start here.  For me, thank goodness that Pinterest was around so I could see all sorts of quirky, inspirational messages as well as people who just as weird as me.  I take comfort in that.  Find a blog, a twitter feed, or a Pinterest board that speaks to you.
• Get a new perspective: Surround yourself with sources that can open up your perspective towards the positive.  Try something that you haven't tried before.   I read some books and got perspective from podcasts.  Here are my favorite new perspectives:
• The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin
• Victor Schueller's radio podcast
• Quiet your brain: I have heard time and time again that meditation is a great resource, but I haven't been able to master that yet seeing as I can barely sit still through yoga.  For me, I have focused on my own quiet alone time, running, and mindfulness. For mindfulness, try this:
• How to Train A Wild Elephant & Other Adventures in Mindfulness, by Jan Chozen Bays
• Make an effort to connect with people: I began to make more of an effort to focus on improving other peoples' day, and it lifted mine.  I tried to spend more time with friends and family, or talking on the phone when I could.  And, I started writing a blog, where now you know a lot more about my life than I have ever shared before.
• Remove the roadblocks: For me, I eventually took a leap of faith for a challenging new job.  I also finally finished school so that I had more time for something other than homework.  But I'll tell you that I had gotten to the point where I didn't recognize who I was as an irritable and frustrated person and I immediately felt as though I was my old self again when I began removing some of the roadblocks to my happiness.

After all of this, I found what makes me happy, and it boils down to a few things: Surrounding myself with beautiful and weird things, constant learning about new things through podcasts/blogs/books, taking the time for mindfulness or quiet time, offering happiness to people and (trying) not expecting anything in return, and removing shit that brings me down.  I cannot be surrounded by people who bring me down, because I just won't allow them to ruin my day.  To my husband, you have been an amazing supporter and partner and I couldn't be even close to happy without you.

Everyone has to take their own path to discover how to be happy but the point is, the journey is just as important as the destination, so enjoy the discovery period.  It was a tough lesson, but a worthy one.

#Thunderbuddiesforlife

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Lucy and Desi, Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, Sonny and Cher.  Theme?  Great couples in history.  Perhaps maybe those didn't all turn out well, but they sure were great while it lasted.  I feel like this picture might be me and the hubs in a different life.

Part of the reason that I can focus on being positive and finding joy in life is I have a really good teammate.  I don't have to worry about much else because someone always has my back, makes me laugh, and makes all aspects of life better.  Life is a team sport, and we all need some sort of teammate, be it a friend, spouse, or sister, to score some goals.

Happy two year anniversary to the person I'd pick first for teams. Every. Time.

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