It really is okay.

Via Melodyross.com

I have always been someone with too many activities in my life.  In high school, I used to go to play practice, then swim practice, then go home and do homework in between a few hours of sleep on the living room couch.  I think I am still catching up on sleep from high school and college.  But, these were my choices, and I would make them again.

I have trained myself to have a lot of things going on at once, but I have really tried over the last year or two to simplify.  I am totally okay with the fact that I went to bed at 9:00 p.m. twice this week.  If I start to feel like I need to accomplish more in my life, I can simply sign up for a 10-k or get a hobby.

Sometimes, people might make a comment to me that I am old, boring, or married.  And I think in response, I can be happy with a calm life.  I can be happy because I have used my time wisely so far in life.  I partied at the right time, I competed in sports at the right time, and I had plenty of time to do all sorts of things before getting married a little later.  So, while I may be old, boring, and married, I can also be accomplished, complete, and comfortable in my own skin.  So I am okay with calm.

The point is, everyone can spend their time as they want.  I have some friends who had some tough lessons in their early or mid-twenties, and this made them the best versions of themselves that they are now.  I have some friends who played everything right early on, and now they are bored with what they didn't take time to do earlier  in life.  And I have friends that are still figuring out their potential.  It sure is fun to watch the people you appreciate find their awesomeness though.  In fact, I am perfectly happy to get great sleep at my ripe old age of 31, and lead a calm life while I support others.  And that's not boring at all.

Sochi Olympics: Friends make winning fun

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I love watching the Olympics, but I have been, say, cautiously optimistic leading into this year's games.  I have mixed emotions about some of the back story to these games, but we are here now and I will focus on simply supporting the athletes competing and watching for some exciting displays of sportsmanship.

One thing I enjoy specifically about the Winter Olympics is that we get to see some great athletes from some of the smaller countries (particularly in Europe) that aren't powerhouse countries.  I love to see breakout athletes from Austria, Kazakhstan, or somewhere else that doesn't get enough attention because they are great at winter sports. And here is also where I find hidden my other favorite part of the Olympics: Friendship.

The three athletes picture above are the three medalists from today's competition in the Men's normal hill ski jump: Kamil Stoch (Poland), Peter Prevc (Slovenia), and Anders Bardal (Norway).  The were the last three to jump in the finals, they waited for each other in the same area at the bottom of the hill, and when Kamil Stoch secured the gold medal, the other two lifted him up on their shoulders and carried him around for a victory lap.  They clearly know each other, have probably been seeing each other in competition and training for years.  What a nice way to end and celebrate their Olympic event.

This does not appear to be the case in every sport, and it also appears that we, the Americans, could take a note.  Many winter sports athletes from across the world train in the United States, for example, a lot of figure skating is done in Michigan, speed skating in Milwaukee, WI, and slope sports in a handful of spots in the usual ski states like Colorado or Utah.  Some rivals and athletes train next to each other every day, and meet in competitions frequently.  It is too bad that we don't see more support to push each other and bring each other along.  I don't see a lot of other sports, (example, figure skating) or a lot of other Americans setting the example that these three ski jump athletes did today.

I am a patriot and a true sucker for national pride in Olympic sports, and I love to see any sportsmanship that is the true spirit of the Olympic games.  Skaters hurting other skaters (ahem, Tonya Harding), people refusing their medals, or athletes who can't appreciate the experience or any medal color are not the true spirit.  Well done, ski jumpers, well done.  I can't wait to watch more sports that are dominated by competitive but friendly and supportive athletes.  And I love watching people fly through the are strapped to a board.

The Weekend Edition: A Weekend in Chicago

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It has become a bit of an annual trip for us in January to take a weekend trip to Chicago and mix friends, shopping, and food.  We have gotten pretty good at this, and we made a few great stops to recommend to the world.  First, here are the necessary ingredients to a great weekend in Chicago:

1. A fun and funky hotel for your stay
2. Some shopping on and around Michigan Ave.
3. A delicious restaurant for dinner
4. A purely Chicago brunch joint on your way out of town

We accomplished all of this and more!  Let me share my favorite spots from this weekend.

Hotel: Hotel Monaco, Chicago
I love to stay at Kimpton hotels in general, and Hotel Monaco in particular.  The décor is colorful and worldly, the entire staff is so friendly, and as a pet-friendly hotel, they lovingly provide me with a goldfish during my stay as a travel pet.  Meet Sven, my pal fish for the weekend:

I also love that I get to raid the mini bar with a free $10, drink wine during the daily happy hour in the lobby, and lounge around in my animal print robe.  The Monaco always has great rates during these slow weeks of January, and it is an awesome value.


Shopping: Michigan Avenue and the surrounding area
I make sure to do two things to prioritize my shopping time: I only go to stores that I can't shop at near home, and I make sure that I don't stay in one place for too long so that the hubs doesn't get too bored.

Dinner: Eataly, Chicago
The Chicago location of Eataly (a play on the word Italy) opened recently and has been incredibly busy ever since.  It is an all-things-Italian marketplace/restaurants/café/bar.  And it. is. INCREDIBLE.

The restaurants are so busy, you need to go put your name in and expect to wait 90 to 120 minutes.  While you wait, you can get a coffee, wine or beer, some prosciutto and fresh mozzarella, or buy anything from pasta to fresh meat and fish, cheeses and meats that you've never heard of, chocolates, or cooking utensils.  We ate at the pizza and pasta restaurant area, and everything we ate was incredible.  I have an entirely new outlook on what pasta should be, and I can't wait to experiment with my new found pasta respect.

Make sure you save room for dessert because the night would not be complete without a delicious LavAzza coffee and a gelato, artisan dessert, or crepe from the Nutella bar.  I bought a giant bag of beautiful Italian treasures that I have never seen before, and the next week will continue my culinary adventures.  Eataly serves as dinner and entertainment for a full night out.

Via Eataly

Brunch: Eleven City Diner
This cute, totally Chicago-type restaurant feels like a hybrid between an old school diner and a Jewish delicatessen.  And the food is impeccable. 

The challah french toast is a great staple to the menu, and the Bad A** breakfast sandwich was a perfect breakfast sandwich with perfect potatoes.  Intelligentsia coffee tops off the menu with love. While there are a lot of fantastic brunch restaurants in the city, this one continues to deliver every time I am there.

Bonus!
Mariano's Fresh Market, Halsted and Monroe
Even though we were so full from breakfast, we still managed to buy a ridiculous amount of fresh food.  Why go grocery shopping anywhere else when you can go buy lots of deli salads and pot pies, topped off with delicious gelato, oysters, fresh sushi, or bulk spices in the same place?

This was my own suggestion for a weekend in Chicago, but there are lots of other great weekend ideas for the taking!  If you need an idea starter, check out a book like this for your path of travel:
The New York Times - 36 Hours

Positivity Part I: The art of taking a compliment

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All confident, adult women (and men) should know the art of taking a compliment.  While this seems like a skill most people might gain over time pretty handily, it seems to be less common than it should be these days.  This may be for any number of reasons, such as someone in our life always telling us what is wrong with us rather than what is right.  Or, maybe we have learned to just not believe it when someone tells us something nice.  Either way, knock it off.

There are a few ways that you can derail yourself from gracefully accepting a compliment:

1. Talking too much:  You do not need to discount the compliment with additional details.  When someone says, "I like your purse," say thank you and smile, rather than saying, "Oh, well, it's just a knockoff, something that I got cheap from [fill in the blank]."
2. Talking too little: Smile and acknowledge, versus looking at them like a deer in headlights.  Are you talking to me?
3. Returning a fake compliment: No need to compliment back unless you have a genuine compliment to share.  Think Mean Girls, and you don't want to come off as insincere.

The first thing you should do is a self-check to think back to the last compliment(s) delivered to you, and consider whether you have made any of these tactical errors.  If you have, that is okay.  It is never too late to change your response to your next compliment.  One thing you will find is that the more compliments you shut down, the less you get, and the more you accept gracefully, the more people will continue to compliment.

The root cause here is confidence, so let's address that.  I don't expect anyone to gain 100% of new found confidence over night, but I do expect us to have a self-awareness and confidence that we are doing some things right.  Confidence shows in everything that we do; in the way we carry ourselves in our clothes, in how convincing we are at work, and in how we attract friends.  I find the best way to gain confidence is to surround myself with positive, confident people.  If people are comfortable in their own skin, they are more likely to compliment you and radiate into your own confidence.

Next up? Ending the negative self-talk.

Super secret Starbucks drinks, and some "Adult Beverage" recipes

Via Starbucks Secret Drink Menu

There is something undeniably delicious about a handcrafted latte or beverage, and Starbucks has figured out how to keep us coming back to their extremely customizable menu with incredible consistency.  I commend their ability to gain my addiction.

There are two things that you can learn here about your Starbucks drinks.  First, if you didn't know that there is a whole secret underground menu created be inventive baristas, you are missing out.  Second, you can keep warm through the winter months by mixing a dash of booze and really make your delicious latte pop.  Of course, disclaimers, don't drink and drive, don't drink boozed up coffee at work, etc.

Check out these drinks from the secret underground menu:

• Thin Mint Frappuccino: Green tea crème Frappuccino, chocolate syrup, java chips, and a dash of peppermint
• Fall-in-a-Cup Latte: Pumpkin spice latte with caramel syrup, chai syrup, whipped cream, caramel drizzle, pumpkin powder
• Red Starburst Frappuccino: Blended strawberry lemonade, vanilla bean powder, raspberry syrup
• Holiday Apple Spice: Apple juice, gingerbread syrup, spiced whipped cream, caramel drizzle

Here are some ideas to try with an extra shot:

• Pumpkin Spice Latte with Captain Morgan
• Chai Latte with Rumchata
• Coffee with Frangelico or Bailey's (recommending the Christmas blend)
• Hot Apple Cider with caramel vodka
• Caramel Brulee Latte with vanilla rum
• Hot Chocolate with marshmallow vodka
• Peppermint Mocha with McGillicuddy's

Special thanks to my friend Abby who helped imagine some of these delicious concoctions.  I can't wait to Starbucks-hop with her and a pocket stocked with airplane-sized booze bottles.

I was at a funeral! and other ways we could have messed the whole thing up...

Photo by J. Kaminski Photography

It seems very unlikely that my husband and I ever got married.  We went all through elementary to high school together, swimming on the swim team together, and basically leading separate lives side by side.  I wouldn't say that we were friends.  When we reconnected nine years after high school, I was like, "Oh yeah, that guy."

Most of our stories are quintessentially "us."  One of my favorites is the first time he asked me out on a date.  We had been texting over the course of an hour or so and, full disclosure, I may have been committed enough to the conversation to text at every stoplight.  The boy sees his opportunity and asks me out on a date.  And then, without notice, I stopped responding.  Naturally, the boy freaked out.

Based on some good advice from a friend to "Don't. Do. Anything.," the boy didn't send me any snarky comments to ruin all of his progress.  The truth is that I was at a funeral, and I turned my phone off out of respect.  When I turned my phone back on a few hours later I saw his message and thought, "Oh nooooooo, he's going to think I don't want to go out with him!"  We smoothed that over and had a very nice first date that ended with me being VERY tired for work the next morning because I didn't want to end the conversation.

The hubs claims that I almost ruined our second date, but I think it was his fault.  We discussed going out and he asked if we should invite or hang out with other people.  I thought, "OMG, is this not a date?"  I was not sure why he would want to invite others, so I panicked.  "The more the merrier!" I responded.  And he was like, um, okay...  Luckily, the date was not a group hangout, although he claims I almost ruined it with my apparent nonchalant-ness.  I say it was his fault for ever bringing it up.

Somehow we made it in spite of ourselves.  We still joke that we can't believe we married each other when we think back to our frienemy years, but it looks like the joke is on us.

Just because we don't talk much doesn't mean we are less of friends.

Image source

Those really are the greatest friends, aren't they?  The ones that you might not even talk to all that often, but it doesn't make you any less of friends.  They are those friends that you pick right back up with even though you haven't spoken to them for months, years even.

I remember in high school when girls would get mad at each other because all of the sudden they had a boyfriend and they didn't hang out as much any more.  I never understood that, because isn't that how life goes?  The girl who was mad that their friend for ditching them for a boy might be the same girl who got married and fell off the face of the earth because she was trying to figure out what to do with her new baby.

The key is, that just because we are all busy, it doesn't stop me from loving you as a friend, missing you as a partner in crime, or respecting you as a person.  I have such an appreciation for my friends that don't dock me friendship points due to the fact that I am bad at keeping in touch, live in a different city, or worked strange hours.  You are still in my head and my heart.  I think of one friend in particular who I know that we never lose ground as friends, even if it has been six month since we have contacted each other.  I have so much thanks to give for that. (Thanks, Lindsey, you warm my heart.)

To keep with the spirit of friendship, I encourage you to reach out to two old friends that you haven't contacted for far too long.  Facebook and social media makes this easy, so no excuses.  I am sure you will enjoy it, and it will be a pleasant surprise to the recipient.  Thanks for understanding that I am a rotten pen pal.

Finding your spot.

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I have never been to Portland, Oregon, but I am certain I love it there.  I imagine that I love the trees, the strange people, and the Pacific Northwest.  I also am quite sure that Zooey Deschanel and I would be friends if we knew each other.  Maybe in a previous life, Zooey and I grew up down the street from each other in a funky Portland neighborhood.

To test my theory on how well I know myself, the hubs and I took the quiz on findyourspot.com.  It is a fun quiz that asks questions about what you like in a city (e.g., size, weather, transportation) and gives you a list of places that match your living style.  Here is a partial list of our cities:

• New Haven, CT
• Baltimore, MD
• Portland, OR
• Hartford, CT
• Frederick, MD
• Salem, OR
• Milwaukee, WI (Holla!)
• Charleston, WV
• Santa Fe, NM

How exciting!  Many of these are cities I have felt, without ever visiting, that they would be great.  This list told me a few different things.  First, I know that I know myself well.  My hunch on cities turned out to be true when proven by another source.  Second, I have some traveling to do to see the cities I am sure to love that I haven't met yet.  And third, I love where I live.  Milwaukee is a great city (totally underrated) and I am happy to be right where I am.  I have found my spot...for now.

And I am still going to pretend that Zooey and I are besties, and that the flat mates on New Girl are my friends too.

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Why I love weddings, and all of the details you should remember to pay attention to...

Over the years, weddings have become one of my favorite activities.  I think they hold so many amazing treasures that can go unnoticed if you are too busy being worried about the gift, who is going to be there, or how soon the bar opens.  I always enjoy a wedding, but I really revel in one that is well done.  I would be a wedding crasher if it was more socially acceptable and I had free time.  And don't get me wrong, I have crashed a wedding.  It is just a time consuming hobby.

Here are my favorite ways to enjoy a wedding, so you can find the treasures too.

The invitation: I know that common logic says it is something made out of paper that people throw away, but the invitation is one of my favorite parts of a wedding.  It tells you so much about the event, such as what color dress NOT to wear, how fancy the event might be, and the personality of the décor.  I like to see how accurately I can dream up the wedding in my head, and see how close I was when I get there.

The venue:  I know it doesn't always work out this way, but I love venues that are so characteristic of the couple that you know that they were meant to be in that space.  I would have every party I ever hosted where we had our wedding (Cuvee Champagne Lounge and Iron Horse Hotel) for the rest of our lives if I could.  I just saw a wedding photo of a friend at the Milwaukee Historical Society, and I thought that was the most perfectly matched wedding venue for that couple ever.  Magic.

The look:  Everyone always looks back at the bride when she first comes out, but try and refrain.  You have plenty of time to see what she looks like all night, but you only get one shot to watch the groom's face and see the look on his face when he sees the bride for the first time.  It is usually a mix of trying-not-to-puke, relief she showed up, approval that his almost-wife looks hot, and pure happiness that he has a best friend to stand with him at the front.

The ring: At the reception, my favorite thing to watch is the groom while he fiddles constantly with this strange new piece of metal on his hand.  While women do this when they first get engaged and the ring on their finger feels new and strange, this goes away by the wedding.  Grooms always walk around greeting people and having a great time, but all while toying with that ring partially as an unfamiliar thing and partially as a reminder that they should be enjoying this totally strange and wonderful day.

These are the things that I enjoy, but weddings are also a nice reminder of my own marriage and the awesome team that I get to be half of.  I was at a wedding when I told my husband, "Yep, I think I am ready to marry you now" after a very heartwarming performance on his part as the best man.  I have enjoyed watching so many of my friends exchange the "thank God we are in this together" look as they are sharing vows, while I give/get the "thank God we are in this together" hand squeeze from the hubs next to me.

My best advice to anyone getting married is to take just five minutes during your reception where it is just you and your spouse, and sneak over to the side of the room with just the two of you.  Take those five minutes to just be together, look around and take in the scene, and watch what a fun time everyone that you care about in the world is having around you.  Someone gave that advice to us at our wedding, and the moment we took was one of my favorite memories.  Eventually someone will come up to talk to you and the moment will pass, but it is a worthy memory.

My best advice to anyone attending weddings who is not married and is reading this singing "Love Stinks" like in the Wedding Singer in their head, is to enjoy the details and just watch for signs that encourage you that love exists.  Just watching my friends set a good example is encouraging.

Thanks for the memories!

#Chrisandvalslovestory

Awkward is one of my super powers.

Via LaurenConrad.com

I can't be totally sure why, but for some reason I continue to get more awkward with age.  Perhaps it is because over the course of time I got more comfortable with who I am as a person.  A weird, silly person who likes to find joy and wear bright colors.  And the more I am myself, the less makes it through translation to the general population.  And just how did I get this way?

I think that I was lucky enough to come across a few key people in my life who told my by their friendship, their actions, or their support that it was okay to be myself, whatever that might be.  What a nice treasure to have, and most certainly one that I did not know the value of at the time.

I spent many of my younger years with a lot of those crazy theater people, and I love every one of them.  There is something special about the creative theater folk, as in that they often have a creativity and a confidence in who they are.  How wonderful to be surrounded by those crazy, interesting people.

In my twenties I had a few friends who were very comfortable in being their own weird selves, and appreciated me as my own self as well.  Eventually, I figured, I could be fine being weird too.

And so, I just decided to wear a lot of polka dots and hide rubber chickens and eat caramel apples and speak in movie quotenese.  It is okay if not everyone gets it.  Most people don't like sushi or red wine the first time they try it, but they get better with age.  Okay, well maybe that's not true for sushi.

Comfort with myself + enjoying weird things = Awkward girl
Awkward girl - my superhero name.

For when you don't know what makes you happy...

Via prettystuff.tumblr.com

I have a bit of a confession to make.  Most of 2012 was a trying year for me.  Prior to that, 2011 was one of the most successful years of my life.  I was enjoying being back in school, I got married, things were going well at work, and I even found a way to fit in a half-marathon.  And this is how I thrive the most, being just a little too busy.  Everything was great, until it wasn't.

Over the course of time in 2012, I realized that things weren't clicking for me anymore.  There was no tragic event in my life, but only a slow degradation of my perceived feeling of success.  And while I don't wish unforeseen crises on anyone, the "slow death" of my mojo was practically undetectable and just as lethal.  School was frustrating, I was missing my free time, and no matter what I tried, I could not feel successful about my work.

I had been trying a lot of different things to maintain my positude, but nothing was really did the trick.  I had lost my confidence and needed to get it back.  So I had to bring out the big guns. Here's how I did it, and I hope you can get your mojo back.

• Think positive thoughts: I am sorry that I am offering such mundane and cheesy advice here, but you have to start here.  For me, thank goodness that Pinterest was around so I could see all sorts of quirky, inspirational messages as well as people who just as weird as me.  I take comfort in that.  Find a blog, a twitter feed, or a Pinterest board that speaks to you.
• Get a new perspective: Surround yourself with sources that can open up your perspective towards the positive.  Try something that you haven't tried before.   I read some books and got perspective from podcasts.  Here are my favorite new perspectives:
• The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin
• Victor Schueller's radio podcast
• Quiet your brain: I have heard time and time again that meditation is a great resource, but I haven't been able to master that yet seeing as I can barely sit still through yoga.  For me, I have focused on my own quiet alone time, running, and mindfulness. For mindfulness, try this:
• How to Train A Wild Elephant & Other Adventures in Mindfulness, by Jan Chozen Bays
• Make an effort to connect with people: I began to make more of an effort to focus on improving other peoples' day, and it lifted mine.  I tried to spend more time with friends and family, or talking on the phone when I could.  And, I started writing a blog, where now you know a lot more about my life than I have ever shared before.
• Remove the roadblocks: For me, I eventually took a leap of faith for a challenging new job.  I also finally finished school so that I had more time for something other than homework.  But I'll tell you that I had gotten to the point where I didn't recognize who I was as an irritable and frustrated person and I immediately felt as though I was my old self again when I began removing some of the roadblocks to my happiness.

After all of this, I found what makes me happy, and it boils down to a few things: Surrounding myself with beautiful and weird things, constant learning about new things through podcasts/blogs/books, taking the time for mindfulness or quiet time, offering happiness to people and (trying) not expecting anything in return, and removing shit that brings me down.  I cannot be surrounded by people who bring me down, because I just won't allow them to ruin my day.  To my husband, you have been an amazing supporter and partner and I couldn't be even close to happy without you.

Everyone has to take their own path to discover how to be happy but the point is, the journey is just as important as the destination, so enjoy the discovery period.  It was a tough lesson, but a worthy one.

#Thunderbuddiesforlife

Via www.howsaboutwe.com

Lucy and Desi, Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, Sonny and Cher.  Theme?  Great couples in history.  Perhaps maybe those didn't all turn out well, but they sure were great while it lasted.  I feel like this picture might be me and the hubs in a different life.

Part of the reason that I can focus on being positive and finding joy in life is I have a really good teammate.  I don't have to worry about much else because someone always has my back, makes me laugh, and makes all aspects of life better.  Life is a team sport, and we all need some sort of teammate, be it a friend, spouse, or sister, to score some goals.

Happy two year anniversary to the person I'd pick first for teams. Every. Time.

#Thunderbuddiesforlife
#Adventureswithboo
#Thesehashtagsdontmeananything

Thanks for the inspiration, even though you didn't know it.

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There has been no better compliment in the world than someone telling you a statement that started with the phrase, "You inspired me to..."  For me, it has sometimes been just a small comment, like, "You've inspired me to wear more bright colors" or, "You are the reason why I started [fill in the blank]."  If that isn't quiet validation for how you live your life, I don't know what is.

I don't live my life for others, but it is always encouraging to know when I may have inspired something in someone else's life.  Over the course of years though, I remember very vividly the impactful moments when someone spoke to me with a phrase starting with, "You inspired me to..."  Every single one of them.

This helps me think about what I might be doing in my life that is inspiring someone right now without my knowing, and that helps remind me that I better be giving my best effort.  I better go work out, I better be a nice person, and I better be a leader in my work.  I do these things for me, and I do these things for that person who might get inspired.  I don't do these things for anyone else.

I think it is important to pay homage to the people who have quietly inspired me, and that I have probably forgotten to tell them that they made an impact.

• To the news anchors, musicians, and business leaders who keep it real and are successful by being themselves instead of somebody else. Rachel Maddow, Zooey Deschanel, Sheryl Sandberg, you inspire me that success doesn't have to look like someone else's design.
• To so many of my friends and my sister that are awesome at being moms among many other things, you inspire me by making it look easy when I imagine that it is not.  At all. But worth it.
• To my choice few and impactful work mentors, you inspired me with persistence.
• To my parents, you inspire me with your adult wisdom and I have realized it is totally okay that I am becoming just like you in my old age.
• To my friends with awesome blogs (Victor, Kate, Kathryn and Michelle), you inspire me to provide a platform for the things that I enjoy, because chances are someone else will too.
• To my husband, who inspires me and lifts me up so often, I can't even categorize it.

Share the impact and tell someone about their impact on you.  They don't know that they inspired you, just like you never know who you may inspire.

The worst advice I may ever give you.

Via gsprn.com

Ah, the funny things that we can do to friends that can take it.  This may not be the most sound advice, but for the tens of people who are going to read it I assume that you can exercise good judgment.

 

I like to only surround myself with people who can take a good joke.  The most edgy comedic friends that I have of course occasionally cross the line, but that is what makes them so funny 99% of the rest of the time.  These fun ideas are only for those friends that can hack it.  And if you don’t find these things amusing, perhaps you need to get funnier.

 

I love these friends here – these are the people that you need to get you through the tough things like 13 or more miles.  These are not my friends, but I think that we would be if we knew each other.  You could give comedic support at lots of other events, but try and avoid weddings and funerals because people take that shit very seriously.

Via tumbler.com

A nice way to show your friends your funny side is to write well-crafted passive aggressive notes.  Here are some tips to hone your writing skills.

 

Via themetapicture.com

Now, I cannot reiterate enough that this advice is only for funny people, and I am not responsible for broken relationships because you tried something edgy with a marginally funny person and they got mad.  You have been warned.  On the flip side, please maximize your funny with those who can take it!  You will be funnier for it.

Everyone is fighting a battle.

Photo source

I spent lunch with a friend today who was going through a tough break-up and needed someone to talk to.  It was the best hour that I spent today, and I know that my friend appreciated it too.  The wrinkle to the story here is that I also know someone who works for my friend, and has been frustrated that my friend has been tough on her this week.  Interesting.  Two sides to every story.

The key to the story here is that whether you can see it or not, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.  The cashier at the store that you thought was rude might very well have been having the worst day ever after she woke up late, spilled coffee down her pants and lost her dog.  That rude bitch behind you in line who can't move fast enough might be so rushed because doesn't want to be the mom late picking her kids up from school again.  And finally, trust me on this, you do not need to complain or yell to the poor person at some store regarding the item that is out, the service that they weren't responsible for, or just straight up ruining their day in order to feel more in control of yours.

Perhaps, and hear me out, if we all start out with kindness, give each other the benefit of the doubt, and offer the effort to make someone's day we might all benefit from the slight adjustment in perspective.  The next time you are frustrated with someone, try and imagine what battle they are fighting and even though it is imaginary, you may find yourself being more willing to show patience, kindness, and earn some good karma for your own hot mess day.

Stay Inspired.

Photo source

I found that this list actually applies to me.  I read all sorts of ridiculous self-help crap, and as an optimistic realist, I do my best to share with the world only the advice that I have tried and conquered.  This list, while simple and slightly corny, works quite well.  "I'm looking for corny in my life." (#moviequotenese)

Here is my example of applying these twelve steps to staying inspired in my day.  Make it your own, and remember, we are not looking for perfection here.

Stay Healthy:

1. Drink a glass of water: I trick myself into drinking water by flavoring it to taste like a mojito.  I should probably stop telling people at work that I drink mojitos just to get through the day.  If it was just water, I would die the swiftest death of dehydration on record.
2. Move and sweat: I exercise 5 days a week because I don't want to look stupid when I run a 10-k in a few weeks, and mostly because I want to eat cupcakes.  Luckily, it also probably lowers stress.  But still, I do it so I can eat cupcakes.
3. Get more sleep: You did not need to tell me that.  It is my only ninja super power.  I am a real crabby patty with anything under six hours, and I think I am still catching up from college.

Plan Your Day:

1. Top 3 Tasks: Check.  Now, I just need to actually do those three things first.  When I actually get the icky stuff out of the way first, I TOTALLY feel better about the rest of the day.  Get the clutter out of the way first.
2. The 50/10 Rule:  I have found this to be important to my day now that I am in a position where I might go interrupted for more than 15 minutes.  I am totally squirrely if I don't get up, walk around, stretch, chicken someone, and chat it up.
3. Reflect Daily: I always do this when I start a new project or job, but it gets harder when you get used to your daily routine.  This is when it is probably the most important, so that you never stop questioning the status quo or forget what needs to be improved.  I am doing this now, and am trying to continue this even as I get comfortable.  Write down everything you see, hear, or feel, even if it is big or small.  I have a four-page secret list of things that need to be addressed from these daily notes.

Keep Learning:

1. Reading: I have given you some good book suggestions, start with those (e.g. Lean In, The Happiness Project).  Other constant sources of information for me include local bloggers and online news sources and Harvard Business Review (just follow them on twitter).
2. Browsing: At work, research to find facts that support what you are trying to drive.  I found some compelling research to convince others when managers should recognize their teams.  At home, the hubs and I use IMDB and Wikipedia constantly, mostly to cross reference actors, and answer the question, "Where are they now?"  If nothing else, the useless information helps us lose at trivia weekly.
3. Brainstorming:  I suggest doing this with people of different perspective than you, otherwise, you might as well just ask yourself.

Focus On What Makes You Happy:

1. Express Gratitude: I don't know about 10 things in the morning, because that sounds like a tall order for non-morning people (i.e. me), but perhaps throughout the day.  Don't forget to tell people about your gratitude when you see them.  Their happiness as a result will be effective in boosting your happiness. Thanks for being you is a favorite of mine.
2. Clean Your Desk: Seriously. Removing the clutter has an amazing effect.  Use one of those 10 minute breaks in the 50/10 rule to remove the clutter.  Try this at home too if you feel like your clutter is holding you back (See first chapters of "The Happiness Project").
3. Indulge in Your Favorite Things: Let's see, watching SYTYCD, blogging, running, eating cupcakes, running to burn off the cupcakes, happy hour with friends, dinner with the hubs, pinning, reading and browsing.  Are you spending enough time to recharge with your favorite things?

Don't knock it until you try it.  Maybe doing something differently is just what you need.

Friends part II: By Request...

Thank you for being a friend. No, thank you, ladies.

Running with the cows: The importance of finding workout buddies

Elsa and Hattie

It seems only fair at this point to introduce the cows to you, since you read so much about them.  In full disclosure, those are totally made-up names, but since they don't know the difference I just say "Hi Elsa" or "Hi (other cow name)" when I run by with a wave, and they seem to be fine with that.

Seeing as I am naturally a slightly anti-social introvert (Reference "Problems only introverts understand"), I want to share the top reasons why dairy farm denizens are my favorite running buddies:

1. I can't talk them out of a workout: The cows are always there, and I can't convince them to skip a day.  So then I just feel bad if I don't show up.
2. They comment on my running outfits: They LOVE yellow.  No one at the gym moos at my fashion choices.
3. They are good dancers: They always find a way to chew or bop their heads to whatever music is playing on my iPod.  They seem to favor "Dancing on the Ceiling," by Lionel Richie.

Bulah and Alfred